Friday, 3 July 2009

Parmageddon

Swine fever has hit Wrexham, according to the Evening Leader, which reported in Tuesday evening's edition that two young women from the town have been diagnosed with the flu strain.

 

You can read the original article here.


In an unrelated incident, a young man from Flintshire has also been diagnosed with the infection, as reported by the Flintshire edition of the Evening Leader. You can read that here.

 

Dr Tony Jewell, chief medical officer for Wales, warned that "The number of cases is continuing to increase in Wales. We expect that with large numbers of people contracting swine flu, there will be deaths, particularly in patients with underlying health conditions."

 

The symptoms of swine flu are exactly the same as normal flu. Only worse.

 

The good people of north east Wales have been advised not to panic. Given that the entire region was emptied of several weeks' worth of bread, milk, and canned goods within hours of the start of the fuel protests of 2000, it is advice that may fall on deaf ears.


Perhaps we should take a leaf out of Belfast's book, embrace the situation, and throw a few swine flu parties? Presumably such parties involve a piƱata full of pork product and a few rounds of pass the cough.

 

Personally, I shall go about my daily duties tomorrow masked up and armed with a pitchfork. My cupboards are already brimming with super noodles and cans of stewed steak, as a matter of course. I just need to stock up on a few gallons of UHT and I'm sorted.

 

If all else fails, I shall join the exodus and head for the hills.


Remember, don't panic!





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